All Good Things…

It’s the name of the last episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.  It’s also the name of my last post.

I’ve thought about this a lot.  Finally, I understand what I’ve been feeling when it comes to my blog.  It’s time for it to come to an end.

A lot has happened over the last 2 years.  I look at old posts and see how much I’ve changed, how much I’ve been through, and how different things are.  I am a very different person from the one that stepped foot on Carnegie Mellon’s campus in August, 2013.  This blog has been a kind of relief for me.  I’ve used it to express my thoughts and feelings when I could not verbalize them, to share my experiences with people who have not had them, and to share my writings when I couldn’t keep them to myself anymore.

Right now, I’m in a place where I’m comfortable with myself.  I don’t need or want to blog anymore.

It’s time to let go.

I’m not going to erase this blog from the internet or anything.  I’m going to leave it where it is, the way it is.  Maybe the future will read it and it’ll become some kind of important thing.  Probably not, but you never know.

My name is Gates Palissery, and this was a record of my inner thoughts and feelings.  I have Bipolar I Disorder, but I’m not going to let it get to me.  Giving up is not an option.  Even though I’m not posting anymore, I will always be available to anyone who needs help or wants to talk or hear a story or feel a connection with another human being or whatever.  Just look me up.

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(Don’t Fear) The Reaper

By Blue Oyster Cult.

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Morning Walk

I walk to and from my class when the weather is good (which it has been for the majority of the mornings so far).  Last week I was so lost in thought that I walked straight into traffic…whoops.

This morning was also a thoughtful one.  My roommate (who is also my sister) likes to put things on our walls.  I don’t know why she feels the need to fill every inch of white space with something, but whatever.  It doesn’t bother me that much.  She put up a map from Rickett’s Glen (a state park near our home), and on this map were pictures of people hiking around.  It annoyed me.  I realized why: guys wear whatever length shorts they want, but most clothing stores (and probably a large part of society) expect women to wear shorts that barely cover any part of them (read: they only sell extremely short shorts).  It just seems so wrong.

There was a bunny sitting on some grass on campus.  It didn’t run away when I walked by.  It was surprisingly small, but maybe that’s how bunnies are in the city (instead of the woods where I’m from).

I realized that I love and hate people simultaneously.  I like being surrounded by people because it makes me feel like I’m part of something.  I don’t like being surrounded by people when it means being uncomfortable.  I also realized that I’m just lonely and it’s kind of pathetic.  I spend a lot of time in my apartment watching Netflix and not much time doing things with other people.

My dreams are ridiculous.  Last night’s dream took place in a world where Dallas and Pittsburgh were essentially part of each other, and it had people from both high school and college.  I was part of a team that was investigating something supernatural, and the other two women were pretending to be dead (and rolled under couches to hide) while I left and looked at everything outside.  There was a huge street festival going on, but I still had to evade the cops who were looking for us and get lost in the crowd.  Don’t ask what else happened.  It’s a long very strange story.  My dreams for the last week or so have been relating to the show Supernatural in one way or another.

(All of these thoughts that go through my head as I walk…wow.  No wonder I walk into traffic.)

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Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to my dad.  I have learned more than you think from you.

I learned a lot about working hard and saving money.  My dad doesn’t coddle me.  He never has, actually.  When I asked him for things as a kid, he always told me to get a job and buy it myself (or to ask my mum, who made the executive decision).  Growing up, he always emphasized how important education is and that he doesn’t want me to be a lawyer because he is.  He always told me to do whatever I wanted as long as it made me happy.

As I’ve grown up, my relationship with my dad has changed a lot.  He treats me like an adult now, and I think that’s actually made our relationship a lot better.  Of course, when I want money or something, I still whine to him like a little kid until he either says no or caves and gives it to me.  Hey, I’m not financially independent yet.

My dad works his butt off during the year (when I was little, he went to the office literally every single day) so that my family can do things that others don’t even dream of.  I’ve been to more  countries than I am years, and it’s because of my dad.  He taught me that you have to see how other people live to appreciate what you have, and I’ve taken that lesson to heart.  When we’re on vacation and doing something REALLY cool, my dad has a line.  He says, “I remember when my dad _____.”

His dad didn’t do things like this with him.  His parents once forgot to get him a visa to go back to India for a summer.  He says that to remind me and my sisters how good our lives are.  After I get past the ups and the downs, I agree.

Thank you, Daddy.  I love you.

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Harry Potter Pancakes

Harry Potter pancakes.  This. Is. AWESOME.  People who have the patience and skill to do things like this are pretty amazing.  I am fascinated by what looks like the two different colours.  I need to know more about these…


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Woman on the 10

For those who haven’t seen, there is big news regarding U.S. currency: a woman’s portrait will be put on the $10 bill.  Who it is remains a mystery to everyone, including the Treasury Department, but it will be a woman who has died (because that is the law about money in the U.S.: it has to be a dead person).

Read the article here:

It IS important to note, I think, that this is not the first time a woman has ever appeared on U.S. currency.  It will be the first time a woman has appeared on U.S. dollar bills.  I’m very pleased with this announcement.  There are plenty of places where women’s portraits are already gracing paper currency, just not the U.S. (yet).

There is something that I’m confused about.  Why did everyone want a woman on the $20 bill instead of any other?

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John’s Blurb (Part 4)

John had lunch duty that day.  It was his job to stand in a corner of the cafeteria and watch the students to make sure nothing bad was happening.  If he really wanted to, he was allowed to walk around and tell them off when they did something wrong.

He hated it.  These were high school kids.  They didn’t need half a dozen people watching them while they ate lunch, especially since the main office could see what was going on.  Of course, John never shared this opinion.  He was a liberal in a traditional and conservative environment.  The cafeteria- a large open room that was more like a common space on a college campus- was the most liberal thing there, and that was only because of renovations that changed the old cafeteria into a science lab.

A couple of girls stared at him from across the open space.  John glanced up at them then back down at his feet.  The way some people looked at him made him uncomfortable.  He thought about his fiancée and relaxed a little.  When he told her about this later, she’d laugh and tell him he should take it all as a compliment.

“John?  Can you come here?”  He looked up.  The vice principal, Jared Krackle, was waving him over to the main office.

John nodded and left the cafeteria, relieved that he didn’t have to watch the kids any longer.  Krackle told him that he had a phone call from a concerned parent.

John picked up the phone gingerly as though afraid it would bite.  Who was calling him in the middle of the day?  Had something happened to his future wife?  “Hello?”

“Mr. Scroal?  This is Ann Loana.  My son, Stephan, is in your class.  I was wondering if you had a minute to talk about how he’s doing in it,” a breathless woman said.

“Uh…now isn’t the best time,” John said.  “Can we set up a time to talk later this afternoon?”  He didn’t understand what this was all about.  Stephan was doing fine in class, his mother had to know that.

“Sure, that’s fine.  I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Scroal.  How does two o’clock sound?”

John thought about it.  Since he had lunch duty, he got an extra prep period instead of having a study hall.  “Two sounds fine, Mrs. Loana.  I’ll wait for your call then.  Uh-huh, buh-bye.”

He hung up the phone and rubbed his eyes.

“Don’t worry, John,” his secretary friend said. John looked at Wallace and gave him a weak smile.

“Who said I’m worrying, Wall?” he asked meekly. “I’m just hoping I still have a job after today.”

Wallace chuckled. “John Scroal, you don’t realize how much the students like you. If they gave you the boot, there’d be outrage, believe me.”

Wallace got up and walked over to John. The shorter man clapped the teacher on the shoulder. “Believe me. You’re fine, John. You might want to get back to lunch duty, though.”

John Scroal nodded absentmindedly and left the office. Wallace watched him leave, wondering what had shaken him up so much. John wasn’t shaken up, though, just lost in thought.

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