They say you can never truly love another until you love yourself. I don’t know how true that is, but I’ve found someone who’s helping me more than he will ever know. He’s helping me learn, not to love myself (for I do not think that possible yet), but to live with myself. Life isn’t so bad. Sure, there are some bad parts. But there are also beautiful ones and fun ones.
Sometimes all you really need is a little bit of happiness to make you realize just how good things can be. And that’s how the last few weeks have been for me. I wrote that top paragraph a month ago, and I can’t help but think of how much has changed. I can’t help but think of how happy I am. Even other people are noticing. I have had customers at work who say I look happier.
The truth is, and this might sound ridiculous but, I AM happier. I feel better now than I have in years. I still have skeletons in my closet, yes, and they’ll never go away, but hopefully they won’t come back to life either. Even if they do, I am better equipped to deal with them. Happiness still exists. You just have to be patient (definitely not one of my strong points) and allow it to approach you. It may be like an abused puppy, constantly kicked around and beaten up on, but eventually it’ll come closer.
And then you will have a reason to be glad you’re still alive. No matter how much shit you’ve gone through, eventually you’ll find a reason to be happy you’re alive. I have.
So…I realized today that it’s been a week since I last posted anything. It probably seems like I’ve gone on vacation or something. I haven’t. I’ve just been very busy.
Over the last 7 days, I have worked ~47 hours, taken a short road trip, and felt beautiful. I’ve felt glad that I’m still alive. There’s a lot more I could say, but I can’t right now. It will come soon enough, though.
Right now, life is good. I am still happy. I feel loved and appreciated and have a warm fuzzy feeling constantly in my stomach. Even going to work is bearable.
I don’t know how regularly I’m going to be blogging anymore. I want to continue posting everyday, but my life just isn’t that exciting. At least once every few days I’ll post, at least until August. Come the school year, I’m sure things will be more interesting and I’ll have more to say.
A song by Level 42. I like it. It’s sort of catchy, I think.
Today I witnessed something amazing. After eating outside with my parents, there was a potato chip on the ground. Tiny ants were trying to move it.
This may sound stupid or like nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn’t, though. It was amazing to watch. These ants were tiny- no more than a millimetre in size- and they were working together to carry a potato chip (which was about half the size of a fingernail) to whatever place they were attempting to reach. There were at least a dozen ants. First they started carving away at the chip, reducing it in size only a little bit. I could see the tiny ridges in the side where they’d taken out some of the chip.
After that, they started dragging the chip to one side. More ants came and they all worked to lift the chip and move it away from the spot where it had been sitting. They stopped and switched with other ants. This continued for several minutes. At one point, the ants encountered a piece of dead plant matter (the dead outside of a flower bud) and they pushed it underneath the chip as though to use it as a lever. More ants came and went. They moved the chip more, and one ant took away the dead plant matter in the direction of their headquarters.
What amazed me about this entire incident wasn’t the fact that the ants could move the chip. It was their teamwork and dedication. They were touching antennae to communicate and figuring out where to position themselves to move the chip. They were working together to get the chip to their place of origin. They were working together for the greater good of their ant brethren.
The entire situation was something that you’d see on National Geographic. It was different from television, though. Seeing it in person was an experience like no other. It was amazing. It was enthralling. It was remarkable. It was the little ants vs the chip, and the little ants won. Amazing. Nature can be so remarkably amazing sometimes.
I realize that it’s been 3 days since I posted anything. That was my mistake. Heh. Things have been so…busy. I find my free time from work occupied by happiness and I just don’t know what to say. I’ve been listening to awesome music, doing my job, seeing people…all of the things that normal students do over their summer breaks.
I’m still happy, though. This silence of mine- one that I feel guilty about- should not be interpreted as a negative thing. It’s a consequence of the things that make me happy. I’m going to be posting sporadically for the next month or so as I try to figure out where I stand with things. I’m making another trip out to Pittsburgh in July. I’m making the best of things, and, I’m happy to say, it’s working.
By Natasha Bedingfield.
Life is good. Never forget that change IS possible, and happiness IS real.
It’s that time of year again! Teen Wolf is back on! Tonight was the first episode of season 4. Holy hell, what an episode! It went by so fast that I’m still wondering if we actually just watched it (the answer is yes). It feels like this season is returning to the Teen Wolf roots, unlike season 3B, which I like. That episode, though… I won’t spoil it, but anyone who hasn’t seen it yet should be prepared for the frustration and excitement that comes with watching this show.
Also, a quote from thoughtful-mind.
“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
― Walt Disney